Autism in girls is often overlooked or recognised later than in boys. In this free guide by Kate Coldrick, parents can learn about signs, masking, sensory differences, and social motivations that make autism harder to spot in girls – with a free handout available to download from TES.
Understanding autism in girls is still a developing area of research and practice. For many families, the journey to recognition and support can feel longer and more complicated than it should be. Girls often present differently from boys, and their needs may go unnoticed until later in childhood, sometimes even into adulthood.
To make this information more accessible, I’ve created a free resource for parents: Autism in Girls – A Guide for Parents, available to download from my TES shop. This blog post shares the full text of the guide, so you can read it here — and if you’d like your own copy to keep, you can download the free handout on TES.
Autism in Girls – A Guide for Parents
Autism is a lifelong difference in how someone understands and responds to the world. It affects communication, relationships, and sensory experiences. While many people picture autism as it is often shown in boys, research now shows that girls can present differently – and this means their autism is often missed or recognised much later.
Why Girls Are Overlooked
For decades, autism research and diagnosis were based mainly on boys. The tools used to assess autism were designed around the way boys tend to present – more obvious social differences, visible repetitive behaviours, and interests that stand out.
Girls may meet the criteria in different ways. They might be sociable on the surface, work hard to copy others, or choose interests that seem “typical” but which they pursue with unusual depth. Many also show fewer disruptive behaviours and more quiet, inward signs like anxiety, perfectionism, or withdrawal. This means their differences are often overlooked by teachers and even family.
Some studies find that autistic girls often put a great deal of effort into being included – watching others closely, practising what to say, and pushing through sensory discomfort to keep up. This determination can hide their struggles from view, delaying diagnosis until later childhood or even adulthood. While these strengths in language and social effort can help them blend in, they can also leave them feeling deeply rejected if friendships do not last or never feel truly comfortable.
At the time of diagnosis, autistic girls may also show stronger spoken language skills and higher IQ scores than boys. While these are positives, they can mask underlying challenges and make it harder for others to see the need for support.
Masking, Camouflaging, and Social Motivation
Many autistic girls develop what researchers call camouflaging – learning and rehearsing how to behave in social situations so they appear to “fit in”. This can involve:
- Watching and copying peers’ mannerisms and speech patterns
- Preparing phrases or jokes in advance
- Pushing through sensory discomfort to avoid standing out
Research also suggests that many autistic girls place a strong value on friendship and social connection. Brain studies show that some autistic girls may process social reward differently from autistic boys, which could make these relationships feel especially important to them.
The difficulty is that wanting connection does not guarantee it will come easily. Girls may put huge effort into joining in, only to find themselves left out or struggling to keep up with unspoken social rules. When this happens, the sense of rejection can be intense – sometimes more so than for boys who were less driven to seek those relationships.
Masking can help avoid short-term social difficulties, but over time the effort can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and low self-esteem, especially when the friendships they work so hard for do not feel secure.
Sensory Differences and the Brain
Sensory sensitivity means noticing sounds, textures, lights or smells more intensely than most people. It is common in autistic people.
In autistic boys, sensory input often stays within the brain’s sensory processing areas. When something feels uncomfortable, it is processed mainly in these areas, which can lead to an immediate and visible reaction such as covering ears, moving away from the source, or leaving the room.
In autistic girls, the information often travels not only to the sensory processing areas but also to the parts of the brain that help manage emotions and control behaviour. These areas influence how we show feelings on the outside and how we respond in social situations. Girls may still feel the discomfort just as strongly, but these systems can automatically help them hide their reaction by keeping still, keeping a neutral face or holding back tears.
Because this regulation happens automatically, adults may see a child who appears calm and coping well without realising how much effort it takes. Over time, constantly hiding sensory stress can be exhausting and can have a real impact on wellbeing.
Possible Signs in Girls
Every autistic person is different, but you might notice:
- Needing time alone after school to recover from social interaction
- Strong reactions to textures, noise, or smells
- Playing alongside others but not fully joining in
- Interests pursued with unusual focus and detail, sometimes in socially acceptable areas such as animals, books, or crafts
- Meltdowns or withdrawal at home despite seeming fine elsewhere
- Low self-esteem, perfectionism, or intense worry about friendships
- Keeping surface-level friendships but struggling with deeper connection
How You Can Help
- Trust your instincts – you know your child best.
- Give downtime – quiet, low-demand time can help them recover from the day.
- Value honesty over fitting in – show them they do not need to pretend at home.
- Celebrate strengths – encourage their interests and the things they do well.
- Work with school – explain how masking works and share what helps your child cope.
- Find the right support – look for professionals who understand autism in girls and take a neuro-affirming approach.
Useful Contacts
- Autistic Girls Network – http://www.autisticgirlsnetwork.org
- National Autistic Society – http://www.autism.org.uk
- Curly Hair Project – http://www.thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk
- Your local SEND team
Further Reading
If you would like to explore the research behind this handout, these articles give more detail:
How autistic girls process sensory input differently
Cummings et al., 2020 – available at https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.2351
Looks at brain differences in how autistic boys and girls experience and respond to sensory discomfort.
Why many girls are diagnosed later
McCrossin, 2022 – available at https://doi.org/10.3390/children9020272
Explains the reasons girls are often missed or diagnosed later than boys.
Brain differences in female autism
Rippon, 2024 – available at https://doi.org/10.1186/s13293-024-00621-3
Summarises research into how girls process sensory and social information in ways that may hide their autism from view.
Social motivation in autistic girls
Xie et al., 2023 – available at https://doi.org/10.1101/2023.06.05.543807
Examines brain networks linked to social motivation and why autistic girls may put extra effort into making friends.
If you found this guide useful, please feel free to share it with other parents, teachers, and carers who may benefit. You can also download the free handout from my TES shop to keep a copy for yourself.
For more articles and resources on supporting neurodivergent children in education, visit my main website or explore my TES teaching resources
Written by Kate Coldrick, literacy tutor, educational writer, and neurodiversity consultant. For more resources, visit katecoldrick.com
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Written by Kate Coldrick, an educator and writer based in Woodbury near Exeter.
Kate Coldrick – Home Education Consultant for Neurodivergent Learners 